We’ve all hit moments in life that feel like everything’s falling apart — whether it’s a breakup, losing a job, burning out, or just feeling stuck and lost. It sucks. But what if those moments weren’t the end, but the beginning of something better?
That’s where the Phoenix Method comes in. Don’t worry — you don’t have to believe in mythical birds or anything like that, though it helps me… This is just a simple, powerful way to reset your life and come back stronger after going through something tough.
I have gone through this a fair few times over the last 5 years and seen some great results.
Let’s go through it.
🔥 What Is the Phoenix Method?
The Phoenix Method is all about turning setbacks into comebacks. It’s a mindset and process you can use whenever life knocks you down — to rebuild in a way that’s more aligned with who you want to be.
It has four key phases:
- Let it burn – Let go of what’s no longer working
- Sit in the ashes – Take time to reflect and regroup
- Find your spark – Start building a new vision for your life
- Rise with action – Take small steps forward with intention
Let’s break it down.
1. Let It Burn
(Recognize what’s not working and stop holding on)
This step is all about facing the truth. Something in your life isn’t working anymore — and it’s okay to admit that. It could be a relationship, a job, a belief you’ve outgrown, or a version of yourself that just doesn’t fit anymore.
Instead of fighting to hold it together, give yourself permission to let go.
Ask yourself:
- What am I holding onto that’s holding me back?
- What do I need to stop pretending is okay?
Letting go might feel like failure. But it’s actually the first brave step toward real growth.
2. Sit in the Ashes
(Slow down and process what just happened)
After a major change or loss, we usually want to rush into fixing things. But sometimes you need to pause — feel what you’re feeling, and give yourself time to think.
This is that uncomfortable in-between stage where you’re not who you were, but you’re not yet sure who you’re becoming. And that’s totally normal.
Use this time to:
- Journal or reflect on what the experience taught you
- Talk to a friend or therapist
- Take care of your body and mind
Ask yourself:
- What am I learning from this?
- What do I not want to carry with me into the next chapter?
3. Find Your Spark
(Start dreaming again — but this time, on your terms)
Once you’ve had time to reflect, you’ll start feeling little sparks of possibility again. Pay attention to them.
This is where you start asking: If I could rebuild my life from scratch, what would I want it to look like?
Not what your parents or boss or social media expect — what you actually want.
This might mean:
- Redefining your goals
- Exploring new interests
- Setting boundaries
- Creating new habits
Start small. One spark is enough to get things moving again.
Ask yourself:
- What kind of life would feel meaningful to me now?
- What tiny step can I take this week toward that life?
4. Rise with Action
(Start moving forward — one step at a time)
Now it’s time to take all that reflection and clarity and start putting it into action.
You don’t need a 10-year plan. You just need a few consistent moves in the right direction.
- Start waking up earlier
- Apply for one new job
- Sign up for a class
- Have the hard conversation
Each action, no matter how small, helps you build the life that fits the new version of you.
Ask yourself:
- What’s one thing I can do today that moves me forward?
- How can I stay consistent even when I’m unsure?
Real Talk: This Isn’t a One-Time Thing
Here’s the truth: You’ll probably go through some version of this more than once in your life. That’s not a bad thing — it just means you’re evolving.
The Phoenix Method isn’t about being perfect or bouncing back overnight. It’s about being honest with yourself, learning from hard times, and choosing to move forward with intention.
Ready to Try It?
Where are you in the process right now?
- Are you letting go of something?
- Sitting in the in-between?
- Looking for that next spark?
Wherever you are, that’s okay. You’re not stuck — you’re just between chapters. And you get to decide what comes next.
🧰 Free Download: Phoenix Method Mini Workbook
Want to go deeper? I put together a FREE simple goal setting worksheet with reflection prompts and action steps for each phase of the Phoenix Method.
Click here to grab it.
💬 Let’s Talk
I’d love to hear from you in the comments:
What’s one thing you’ve had to let go of — and what did it make space for?
You’ve got this. 🔁
Please check out my other post the develop your morning and evening routines.
Stay Magical,
Jonathan 🙂
The Wand and Phoenix Team
www.wandandphoenix.com